TUCA BUYS A SWIMSUIT! Click to read more.
Old fashioned is never terrible, but also, don’t let the text thing be the reason you don’t pursue this girl. Ask her out any damn well you please, but do it within 72 hours OR ELSE.
Everyone has days where seeing pictures of other people’s lives makes them feel weird inside. I have it when I choose to stay home on a Saturday night, and then see my friends all out dancing with bears and drinking marshmallow tequila.
I call it Instajealousy.
What it probably means for you is that you’re craving a romantic relationship. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Feelings of loneliness in any capacity, to me, mean that I need to be beefing up all of my relationships- work friendships, creative relationships, intimate friendships, family relationships- because often if we crave one thing too much, we find ourselves getting tunnel vision and expecting that one type of relationship will be our savior. And nothing dooms a romantic relationship faster than the curse of too high expectations.
Besides, rarely do wedding photos actually represent a moment of utmost love. The bride and groom are both probably exhausted and angry at at least four people each, and their feet hurt. The best moments of love aren’t captured in any picture. So take comfort that what you’re seeing is an expression of two people doing a big thing and feeling millions of emotions about it. Let your own emotions be a signal to work on your own life, and just be happy for the people in the pictures. They need your well wishes.
You writing me was your motivation. Stop looking for motivation to be a magical, glorious, voice of god on the mountain type of thing. It never happens like that. A little tiny voice inside you, the part that listens to podcasts and and goes on Tumblr and wrote to me, just needs to be turned up a bit, because it’s that voice that is you fighting through this depression.
Every person goes through times when they feel overwhelmed, hopeless, and worthless. No one is immune to it. Take comfort in how completely not alone you are. What you’ve lost is your desire to cover up all those icky emotions with a veneer of “everything’s okay!”, which is somewhat gorgeous to behold. That boldness can move you in a better direction.
Today, do one thing you don’t normally, one thing that “normal” people do. Walk around the block once. Write a note to a long-lost friend. Tell your parents how much you respect them. Take $5 and put it in a jar beside your bed.
Motivation won’t find you and smack you in the head, you have to find it. And sometimes to find it, you have to trick it into thinking that you already have it.
I shudder to think what that would look like.
Happy Easter everyone. (Thanks to Dana for sending this to me)
Emily V. Gordon, on what being a therapist has taught her about family, friendship, and conflict resolution.
I wrote this for The Toast! Enjoy!
Daily #492! Some days may even be a bit of both.
Great advice, kids.