Do You Think You're Pretty?

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Most girls don’t secretly wish to be attacked by an army any more than they secretly wish to be abused by a lover; but many girls do secretly wish someone would listen to them and pay attention without having some kind of ulterior motive — or, if they must have an ulterior motivation (as with Edward’s blood-lust), that this someone acknowledge that motivation openly and make a good faith effort to overcome it.

I love when I read something that causes me to rethink my thinks. This is a piece responding to people who say the Twilight books are misogynistic. I’ve never read the Twilight books, but I assumed they were misogynistic, and after reading this, I’m left to reconsider… slightly. I still don’t believe this is the best thing for a teenage girl to read, because regardless of how and why these books are problematic, and whether or not their problematicness is misogynistic, I still feel like the relationship is sets up is problematic in enough ways to impact a child’s opinion of what love should be.

But then again, I read Sweet Valley High growing up.

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Of course, the ultimate moment of being Female in Public comes when a woman, deep in thought, is told by a strange man to SMILE. (And this happens only to women.) Gentlemen, let’s get this straight. There is no part of my body that belongs to you, not even my facial expression.
From a devastating essay from Laura Lippman, author, about what it’s like to be a woman in public. 

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Anonymous asked: opinions on birth control? i've read it's harmful and now i'm scared to get it. what are ways to prevent pregnancy? or how do you understand ovulation?

Literally everything you do, medically or otherwise, will have risks, and some people with ulterior motives like to use those very minor risks to frighten people out of taking control of their own reproductive systems. Don’t let the meanies scare you. 

In my opinion (and in my personal practice), birth control is an amazing way to get some sugar without worrying about pregnancy until you want to get pregnant. Go to an OBGYN you trust, talk to him/her about your concerns. Discuss the enormous, lovely world of birth control options open to you, like pills and IUDs and copper things, and try one out. See how it works for you, and if it feels weird, go back to the doctor and try another kind. Trust doctors more than you trust the Internet, even me. 

I am not a medical doctor and cannot explain ovulation to you in any real clinical way, but I do recommend getting an app like “Woman Calendar” to track your own cycle. It uses a combination of tracking when your period happens, what it’s like, and if you want extra credit, tracking your temperature when you first wake up in the morning. For those of us that feel like our bodies have no rhyme or reason, tracking my menstrual cycle has been really great in helping me get to know my body in a way that I thought only doctors could really “get”. It’s your body. It’s good to know when you’re ovulating, regardless of what you want to do with that egg. 

So get the app and get to a doctor to find out more info. Don’t be scared of risks. The thing that fights fear is education. 

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Teenage me would pine over the guy friends that I would go to concerts and watch movies with. Those guys, in turn, would date the girls who were grossed out by Freddy Krueger.
How my long (and now defeated) bout with girlhate began. 

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You meet your hero. You meet your heroes. You do shows with them. You realize they are people, that they haven’t figured it all out, that they are still moving forward. That makes you happy, to know they are real, and that makes you sad, to know that there isn’t an end point.

This realization, from Cameron Esposito about comedy, is applicable to everything really. No one’s ever done becoming, and it’s horrifying and relieving. 

Read the whole thing, it’s great.